idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
