im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
