I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize