The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
