I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
