it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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