she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Your cock deserves a montage
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
