Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
