he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
