So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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