didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am spending my child support on dildos
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
