he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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