I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The air was thick with penises
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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