she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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