I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
