I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
