dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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