im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
