did you get engaged???
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
