He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm really busy with my period
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