State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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