Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
