Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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