Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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