I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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