i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
