I don't think brook has ever known best
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
