party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
