last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and she was petting her beer can
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
