My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You can't just leave with hair like that
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
