He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
