I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
