I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
