I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
