i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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