Sponge bath it is.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
