people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
