I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
