Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
