You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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