idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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