"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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