You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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