she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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