You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
