North Korea, Best Korea!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
