Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
