There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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