just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
