the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
