It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i drank out of a bidet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
