Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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