I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
