Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
