just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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