I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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