On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
