She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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