Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
