I looked at my own cervix.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I love you. Go after that dick
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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