I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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