I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
