just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
