New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She needs sedatives and a leash
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
