I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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