In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
