Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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