You can't motorboat a personality
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
