my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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