But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I could fuck to npr.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
