We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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