How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I puked a lego.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
