Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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