Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
